Personal Finance King

A Personal Finance Money Blog from a Christian Perspective

  • Home
  • About
  • Contact
  • Recommended Sites
You are here: Home / Saving Money / How to Keep Your Fear of Dying from Draining Your Estate

How to Keep Your Fear of Dying from Draining Your Estate

July 9, 2018 by Barnaby

The funeral business is a racket. The U.S. median cost of a funeral with a burial, not including cemetery costs, is over $7,000.

There is no transparency in pricing, and buyers are generally in a fragile emotional state. NPR ran a story about how you can get the same service – and save $1,895 – just by crossing the street, in Raleigh, NC.

And it’s something you don’t need until you really need it – like instantly. So although you can pre-purchase a funeral package, most people don’t because the payback timeline is totally unknown.

And it also requires you to confront your mortality, which is a major drag for most people.

I remember hearing about a study that sought to determine whether the cancer diagnosis of a co-worker made people more likely to get screened for cancer.

Actually, it was just the opposite – a colleague’s diagnosis would make someone less likely to get evaluated. Especially if the cancer-stricken co-worker was really sick, or if the healthy colleague worked in close proximity to the patient. It’s known as ‘information aversion,’ aka being scared sh!*less that you also might also get a difficult diagnosis and, you know, die.

Lucky Me?

Fortunately, I am married to Nora, who has a Masters in death and dying. Not really, but that is actually a thing – my sister has a Hopkins Masters nursing degree with that concentration.

Nora’s is an honorary degree issued by Hard Knocks U. Her dad died when she was 13, and her stepdad followed when she was 15. Then years later, stepdad #2 passed away. Then her sister – and only sibling – in a motorcycle accident.

As a result, dying for her is just a part of living. A sorrowful part, of course, but something to be kept in perspective.

The perspective being that everyone dies, yet our souls live on in heaven if we accept Jesus as our Savior. It’s that simple.

Shield the Kids?

I believe it’s a minor form of child abuse to shield your kids from thinking about their mortality, so we discuss it occasionally. What do you want to have happen to your body? What do you want your funeral to be like? Then we write it all down on a piece of paper that no one will be able to find if I die first.

For the record, here’s what Nora wants:

  • Cremation
  • Be buried next to me 🙂
  • Cheapest possible funeral package (of all time)
  • A simple service, where we sing “Amazing Grace” and “O Love That Will Not Let Me Go” and “It Is Well With My Soul”
  • In her memory, take everyone to Disney World with the money we save
To save on the cost of an urn, Nora wants me to receive her ashes like this

Here’s mine:

  • Coffin or cremation (Nora is slowly – glacially slow – convincing me of the benefits of returning to dust/ash)
  • Be buried next to Nora
  • A simple service, where everyone sings “In Christ Alone” and “My Life Is in Your Hands”
  • A performance by our church’s United Voices of Faith
United Voices of Faith in joyful action

I’ve tried to get Nora to agree to recruiting the United Voices of Faith if I die before she does, but she’s totally noncommittal. I’m not sure why, and if it were me, I’d promise the moon, then backtrack if necessary when the accountability factor instantly goes to zero, but she doesn’t work that way.

Related: Another post about Nora’s personal integrity – A Valuable Discovery in the Maine Woods 

Cost Containment

Regular death discussions also serve another purpose: Keeping the guesswork and emotion out of funeral purchases. We don’t have a pre-paid funeral package, but I have a pretty good sense of what to buy – and how much it will cost – if and when Nora goes to heaven before I do.

Knowing her luck with close relatives, I’ll be the first to go. She’ll be sad, of course, but ultimately it will be well with her soul. We’ll see each other again.

And it will be well with her pocketbook.

And it will be well with family unity. It’s not listed in my handwritten funeral wish list, but with this blog post, I officially declare my desire for everyone to go to Disney with the money saved cremating me, or perhaps placing me in a cheap rough-hewn pine box. Give me a couple more decades (hopefully) to determine which.

Filed Under: Kids & Finance, Saving Money Tagged With: funeral costs, funeral package, information aversion, masters in death and dying, united voices of faith

About Me

About Barnaby King Welcome to the Personal Finance King blog, which explores issues of Money, Faith, Work, and Family. I am Barnaby King. More
Subscribe to Receive New Posts by Email:

Check your inbox or spam folder now to confirm your subscription.

RSS RSS Feed

  • Quick Takes: Riding Greyhound, Winning Mega Millions & Human Composting
  • Know Your Value
  • My Tiny Bitcoin Investment Lost 64% of Its Value

Most Popular Posts

1. How Should We Respond to Needy People on the Street?
2. We Ported Our Landline Phone to Google Voice, Saving $46 Per Month
3. What Is the Role of Faith in Personal Finance?
4. 9 Life and Finance Lessons from “Alexander Hamilton” Biography by Ron Chernow
5. Top 8 Free and Offbeat Historic Things to Do in Baltimore
6. Why We Live in Baltimore Despite Its Problems
7. How a Prized Pocket Knife Was Imperiled on a Trip to See the Rockettes
8. Is 16 Too Old for a First Phone?

Categories

  • Earning Money
  • Faith & Finance
  • Kids & Finance
  • Love & Finance
  • Misc Finance
  • Politics & Finance
  • Saving Money
  • Travel & Finance
  • Uncategorized
  • Work & Finance

Archive

  • January 2023
  • December 2022
  • November 2022
  • October 2022
  • August 2022
  • June 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • January 2022
  • December 2021
  • October 2021
  • September 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016

Copyright © 2023 · Metro Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in